in the bath

created Friday, April 7th, 2006 1:45:40pm

i took a bath and read the new yorker
this is how i read the new yorker
when i read it, that is

i read the things going on in new york
the film openings
the operas
the galleries
and so
and i wish i lived in new york
then i read the talk of the town
or at least the first one
and maybe the second one
the others are rarely worthwile

then i read all of the comics
cover to cover
bruce eric kaplan is the best
then i read the humorous feature
the stuff written by jack handy
or woody allen
or david sedaris
and its usually ok

then i look at the feature article
the long one
usually about politics
or world affairs
and ill read that if the topic suits me
but most of the time
if the topic suits me
i just remember to come back
to the feature and i read the
rest first

i never read the fiction
never
i just cant do it
i try sometimes
sometimes i try to read the poetry
but i never understand it
i mean
i understand the poetry
but i dont understand
out of all the submissions
the new yorker gets
and surely they get many
they chose the one printed on
the page
because its just shit
invariably
they sifted through all those
poems and they said
this
this is the one
this is the shit we shall print
of all of them

then i read the book review
unless its written by john updike
i won't read anything by john updike
fuck john updike
fuck him
after the book review
i read the briefly noted reviews
and i read the film review
because usually it's decent

in the bath tub
i did all of this
the feature didnt interest me
the humor was a memoir by sedaris
there was something by updike
which i didnt read 
in the bath tub
or anywhere else
they're playing aguirre the wrath of god
somewhere in new york
and i wished i lived there

when i got to the end of
the magazine
the bathwater was cold
the last page has comics
with no captions
and you're supposed to
supply
you're own captions
but i never know what to say
just like now

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