Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs

created Wednesday, December 28th, 2005 6:36:28pm

No longer just for lazy Sunday mornings - this is Chuck Klosterman's
newest book in paperback, and let me tell you it's a great one. 
Normally I stay away from anything resembling a "criticism" of
"popular" "culture", but this guy is hilarious.  Just wanted to share
this particularly pertinent (at least to the NBA-heads in our lil'
family) passage, from a piece entitled "33" that explores the great
Celtics-Lakers rivalry of the 80s.  In it, Klosterman puts forth a
series of 10 questions that determine (if you're not aware already)
your relative Celtic- or Laker-ness.  Here's the response to question
3, "What should I have for breakfast?":
"There's sort of a gut reaction to insist that Celtic People should
eat pancakes and bacon while they read the newspaper, but nobody does
that except lumberjacks and maybe Mark Cuban.  A Celtic Person eats
cereal, but nothing bland; Cap'n Crunch or Frosted Flakes are the best
options, because the empty sugar represents M. L. Carr and the ample
riboflavin represents Scott Wedman (i.e., something that is good for
you, even though you have no idea what it does).  Laker People consume
Kellogg's Pop-Tarts, which heat up in a hurry - a lot like Bob McAdoo."

Not your style?  Then try this (perhaps more universally pertinent) gem:
"People just have no clue about their genuine nature.  I have
countless friends who describe themselves as 'cynical,' and they're
all wrong.  True cynics would never classify themselves as such,
because it would mean that they know their view of the world is
unjustly negative; despite their best efforts at being grumpy, a
self-described cynic is secretly optimistic about normal human nature.
 Individuals who are truly cynical will always insist they're
pragmatic. The same goes for anyone who claims to be 'creative.'  If
you define your personality as creative, it only means you understand
what is PERCEIVED to be creative by the world at large, so you're
really just following a rote creative template.  That's the OPPOSITE
of creativity.  Everybody is wrong about everything, just about all
the time."

And in closing:
"Meanwhile, Internet porn makes everything more reasonable - once
you've realized there is a massive subculture of upwardly mobile
people who think it's erotic to see an Asian woman giving a hand job
to a javelina, nothing else in the world seems crazy."

Now that's some good stuff - and I'm only halfway through!

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